Stop Over-Apologizing

Do you use the word “sorry” a lot, even when you’re not apologizing? Over-apologizing is a common habit that people develop for a number of reasons, like low self-esteem, or a need for external validation. Apologies are an important part of the human experience; they can show true remorse for a wrong-doing, and act as a promise to do better in the future. When apologies become too common, they are hard to believe and lose their value to other people. Try to separate which situations need an apology, and which don’t. In the situations that don’t, work on finding different ways to express yourself, without constantly saying “I’m sorry!”

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Heather Kassman
When Grounding is a Good Thing

When the world feels too stressful and overwhelming, oftentimes it’s easiest to just check out. Checking out gives us some distance from our lives, and is a common defense mechanism for many people. Distancing from the world, however, also distances you from your mind and body, and can actually add to the stress you are already feeling. Instead, try to ground yourself and take each moment as it comes. Living in the present can be difficult. When you can ground yourself and recenter, you can work towards a solution to your problems, rather than avoiding them.

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Heather Kassman
The Time To Do It Is Now

Are you the kind of person to put off something to the last minute? While procrastinating is pretty common, it can have an adverse effect on your life! Leaving tasks until later can increase the amount of stress you deal with, and that stress will only grow. Reducing your procrastination takes significant, concerted effort, and may take a good deal of time. Find a friend or family member that can help you stay on track, and start chipping away at that old habit. The time to DO is now!

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Heather Kassman
From Setback to Comeback

We all have our challenges in life, and some days, our challenges feel overwhelming and too difficult to handle. These setbacks can feel devastating in the moment, and often, the feeling of devastation can seem unending. Remember, you will always be stronger than your setbacks! Setbacks are opportunities to learn and grow from mistakes, or chances to move forward and begin again. When you can tap into your strength and resilience, you are capable of so many things. Put in the effort, and your setback will turn into a comeback.

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Heather Kassman
Close The Chapter, End The Cycle

How do you move on from something? We all reach points in our life where we feel ready to go to the “next thing”. It could something exciting or terrifying, but before we move on, we have to deal with whatever we’re letting go. Contrary to popular belief, letting go isn’t about cutting something out of your life, but rather leaving something in the past. This can be a difficult process, but don’t worry; it doesn’t have to happen all at once. Your grip on the past will start to loosen, and you will see the changes you make.

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Heather Kassman
When Someone is Constantly Critical

It can be difficult to deal with someone who consistently finds ways to put you down or criticize you. If you have experience with someone like this, you know how frustrating it can be. However, fighting back, or staying silent is rarely productive, so what can you do? Remind yourself that often, they aren’t trying to attack you, but rather they are looking for an outlet for their anger and frustration. Try to facilitate calmer discussions with this person, and see if you can find the real issue at the heart of their comments. At the end of the day, it is their negativity, not yours. Be the positive change you want to see, and try to help the negative.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
When Others' Input Matters

The cycle of external validation is something we might all be familiar with. Getting praise from someone or receiving a compliment isn’t a bad thing, but if your self-worth becomes too associated with other people’s input, it can be a difficult mindset to overcome. Your self-image is best based on your preferences, and it’s important to develop a sense of yourself from the inside out, and not the other way around. By showing yourself love and appreciation, you can balance internal and external validation, and create a path to the person you want to be.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
Maneuvering Life Transitions

Humans are creatures of comfort, and we prefer to feel as comfortable as we can. However, one of the only constants in life is change, and every day will always present new opportunities and challenges. Navigating these two realities can be difficult, but it doesn’t need to be! Instead of focusing on remaining comfortable, try to find comfort in change. It can open you up to new challenges and opportunities, and through this process, you can grow into a greater understanding of yourself. Change may be difficult, but when you take control and choose how you respond to it, change becomes powerful.

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The Risks of Self-Diagnosing

When something feels wrong or “off,” we try to figure it out as soon as we can. While this can be helpful in figuring out some plans of action, or the next steps to take, it can be dangerous to self-diagnose; especially when it comes to mental health. Having a diagnosis can provide comfort, and can help you know more about what you’re dealing with, but it doesn’t fix the problem itself. Self-diagnoses can also form labels and opinions about yourself that might be incorrect or incomplete. It’s ok to do your own research, just make sure you reach out to a professional for help as well.

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Asking For and Receiving Support

It can be surprisingly difficult to ask for help sometimes. Whether it’s for reasons of pride, embarrassment, or self-doubt, many of us hesitate when we need help the most. If you find it difficult to ask for help, that’s ok; it can be hard for all of us. Just remember there are people you trust and people who care about you, who will more than likely be willing to help you. Try to develop a few strategies for reaching out to people, and build a support system for yourself from the people closest to you. It’s not weak or strange to ask for assistance, and if you need it, all you have to do is ask.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
Coping The Best You Can

We’ve all had overwhelming days in our lives. These are the days that drag on and on, and everything seems to pile up, leaving you tired and drained. The good news is that these days are normal, and while they are trying in the moment, they are never permanent. With some practice and support, handling an overwhelming time in your life gets easier, and in some cases, it can help you take a step back from the daily hustle and bustle of life. If you’re feeling that life has become too overwhelming, take a pause and prioritize your mental health. Sometimes life can be too much, and that’s ok; there’s always tomorrow!

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
How Well Do You Know Yourself?

We’d all like to think that we know ourselves pretty well. However, if someone asked you to tell them about yourself, what would you say? You might try to explain who you are through your job or your personal history, where you’ve been, and what you’ve done. While these all make up your experience, it fails to explain who YOU are, and what you value and respect in life. Having a deeper awareness of yourself can actually help you in many areas of life. If you put in the time and effort to know yourself and what you value, you might make some breakthroughs on the path to the life you want.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
It's Really Not About You

We’ve all had someone in our life lash out at us at one point or another. It never feels good to be on the receiving end of someone' else’s anger, but more often than not, that anger isn’t a result of your actions. People can get stressed and frustrated for hundreds of reasons, and it’s important to consider that when someone lashes out at you. If someone is being unnecessarily rude or hurtful to you, don’t tolerate or excuse their actions. Take the time to respond appropriately. Sometimes, all you need to do is walk away.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
Teen Dating Abuse Happens

Dating as a teenager can feel thrilling, goofy, awkward, or even truly romantic. However, like all relationships, teen relationships can also be harmful and abusive. Abuse can come in many forms, and sometimes it’s hard to notice the patterns of abuse, especially in young relationships. While not all teen relationships are abusive, it is important to keep an eye out for possible warning signs. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, be sure to find someone you trust that can provide some help.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
Work/Life Balance

Day to day life can feel like a rat race at times, as we try to navigate work, family, relaxation, and self-care (among other things). More often than not, one of these aspects will feel more important than the others and will take up the majority of your time. It is important that you create time for yourself to balance all the other aspects of your daily life. Give yourself space to relax and unwind, and define what areas of your life could use some more attention. As you build a more balanced lifestyle, you will begin to redefine what is important to you, and you may begin to find your days are becoming yours once again.

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Heather Kassman
You're Worth It

What makes you valuable? Some people might find their value in their job, appearance, or status in the world, while others find their value in how they compare to peers around them. While these are all valid ways of defining what you do and how you live, they are not good markers of self-worth. Your self worth should come from a place that values all of you for who you are, not what you do. You are a complete, valuable person, flaws and all.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
How To Tell Someone They Hurt You

When someone hurts you, how do you respond? It is a difficult situation to navigate, especially if you want to continue being around the person who hurt you. Whether the distress they caused was intentional or not, make sure they know that their actions have hurt you. While you shouldn’t ignore them or retaliate to hurt them back, you are allowed to feel hurt, and telling the person who hurt you can help both sides understand where the other person is at. This is to start a conversation, not a fight.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
Walls Are Not A Sign of Strength

When we are faced with difficult emotions and feelings, a common response is to throw up our emotional walls. These walls can come in many forms, such as avoiding discussions about your feelings or refusing to cry in front of other people. We often feel like shutting people out when we feel vulnerable, but in reality, opening yourself up to others can be a much healthier option. It can feel scary at first, opening up to the people around you, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable may help you overcome some emotional obstacles, and grow into the person you want to be.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
Are You Coming From Different Places?

Relationships require work from both sides in order to be sustainable. As you progress in a relationship, you will learn new things about your partner, and together you will learn how to communicate with one another. This can allow for both of you to connect on new levels, and can even lead to a stronger, healthier relationship. If that communication falters, however, you could risk losing the relationship. Take time to check in with your partner, and if you feel a slip in your communication, make sure you both work to find a solution.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman
What Defines You?

Humans are very complex creatures. We are a vast combination of thoughts, emotions, hopes, and ideals, and yet, when we are asked to define who we are, our responses are often limited. We define ourselves by our jobs, our physical characteristics, or any number of aspects that make us who we are. Each of these definitions fail to represent the true YOU. Instead, try defining your goals and aspirations, or the way you want to live for the next year. Defining yourself can leave you in a box, but you can just as easily break out, by focusing on the life around you.

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ArticlesHeather Kassman