Close The Chapter, End The Cycle

People have been sharing that they are ready to ‘move on’ from the past year, choices they’ve made, jobs, and even from relationships. I think most of us can relate to wanting something to change looking forward. 2021 has prompted personal reflection and realizations that this could be a significant turning point; a time to let go. What better time than now?

To let go does not necessarily mean to get rid of. It means no longer dwelling on the past. Choosing to focus on new things. Besides major events, moving on can also be from grudges you’ve held, old beliefs that no longer serve you, unhealthy cycles, or staying tied to who you once were. However, it’s not always simple. Our lives are full of so many chapters, and knowing when or how to close one takes effort. Change can feel scary, or it might feel hopeful and exciting because you are opening yourself up to new freedoms and opportunities.

 

WHY IT’S DIFFICULT

  • Fear of: the unknown, making the ‘right choice’, being alone, hurting someone, failing, etc.

  • Self-limiting beliefs: “I can’t do that!”, “I’m not ____ enough”, “It’s a bad idea”

  • Security of being on autopilot. While you may not be happy, you know what to expect

  • Feeling sentimental. It’s difficult to let go, knowing that it includes the good times as well

  • Not knowing HOW to move away from old habits and the way things were

 

Someone once pointed out that you can't start a new chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. We dwell so much on the past that we neglect living in the present.

Do you feel stuck, uninspired, restless, empty or unfulfilled? Does it seem like you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way? Do you feel done with living a life based on the past?

 

HOW TO CLOSE THE CHAPTER & LOOSEN YOUR GRIP ON THE PAST

  • Be still. Tune into yourself - what wants your attention?

  • Reflect on ‘gifts’ from your past while acknowledging the truths you’re ready to leave behind

  • Reframe past trauma, grudges, bitterness, old beliefs or pain, as experiences for learning. What you’re holding onto is no longer present for you now. It’s an internal memory.

  • Choose what you DO want to hold onto – wisdom, growth, insight, fond recollections

  • Consider a closing ceremony or ritual: toss old reminders; write a goodbye letter, poem or song to your past; memorialize a significant moment with art; choose a burnable item that symbolizes what you want to release - place it into a fireplace or woodstove saying out loud “I release you.”

  • Find your current voice – state confidently your intention to begin a new chapter in your life

  • Practice self-acceptance and love by affirming who you are now and what you value

  • Surround yourself with people and resources who want to be supportive

  • Redirect your focus from the past to how you see yourself moving forward in a healthy, improved way. Tune into what inspires or motivates you, without jumping too far ahead 

Be patient. Most authors will tell you that it takes time to complete one chapter and start a new one. Every day adds a new page. Let your story unfold.

Heather Kassman