Why Does Everything Feel Urgent?

If you feel like you are overloaded or constantly in a state of crisis, you are not alone. In the past 15 years, millions of Americans report an increase in stress or feeling like things are out of control. If you spend most of your waking hours trying to figure out solutions to personal problems, or you feel like you are trying unsuccessfully to manage every part of your life and that the world is closing in around you, chances are you’re setting yourself up to crash.

So many people tell me that they feel like they cannot get a grip on their lives and that they are going crazy. When I ask what feels stable, quite often the response is “nothing”. No wonder they feel overwhelmed or are responding with anger, irritability, anxiety, self-doubt or even feelings of helplessness.

HOW MANY OF THESE RING TRUE FOR YOU?

  • You don’t think about enjoying life because you’re too busy trying to cope

  • You do not seek new relationships

  • It seems like you are always “putting out fires”

  • You are tired most days

  • You pass up opportunities to spend time with friends

  • Friends and family tell you they are worried about you

  • It feels like most of your conversations are about your problems

  • You are waiting for the bottom to fall out from beneath you

  • You often wonder ‘what’s the point’?

  • Making time for self-care seems frivolous

  • You’re nervous that new texts or phone calls are just another problem coming in

  • You do not see a way to a more peaceful life

Everyone has stress in their lives. For some, it has become the norm. If this sounds like you – the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way forever! 

STEPS TO TAKE

  • Make a list of your stressors

  • Take a minute to validate that there are some difficult things going on in your life

  • Determine what you do and do not have control over

  • Learn to recognize when you might be ‘catastrophizing’ something

  • Prioritize what to address based on how urgent each thing is

  • Find or reach out for objective, non-judgmental support

  • Start by taking small, doable steps

 

Life really can be manageable when you are able to put things in perspective. Making time to take care of yourself, connect with others, and learning to let go of things beyond your control lead to a much more enjoyable life!

ArticlesHeather Kassman