You're Worth It
How much do you value yourself? Do you believe that you deserve respect from others? Self-worth is about knowing that are valuable, that you are important. It relates to your thoughts, feelings and actions; all of which are unique to you. Most people determine personal worth by evaluating their own achievements or abilities, or by comparing themselves to others. All of which tend to be fairly skewed and not very objective.
The most common ways that people measure their self-worth are…
FINANCES: income, material possessions, assets
APPEARANCES: body size & shape, hair, complexion, clothing, age, etc.
ACHIEVEMENTS: accomplishments, awards, competitions “won”, honors, grades
SOCIAL STATUS: who you know, popularity, number of friends, relationship status
WHAT YOU DO: job, career, activities, volunteering, hobbies, causes
HEALTH: physical abilities & disabilities, diet, mental health, intellectual capabilities
We measure ourselves through social media, and comparisons at work & school. We attempt to imitate & emulate celebrities and peers; and we focus on what we don’t have, that others do. Healthy self-worth is when you accept and value yourself as is. People with high self-worth tend to have more fulfilling, loving, and stable relationships than those who do not. They recognize that their own esteem is key to being able to genuinely & positively accept and value another person.
BOOST YOUR SELF-WORTH
Ideally, the foundation of self-worth begins early in life. Young people need encouragement for who they are… flaws and all. Unfortunately, a lot of folks don’t receive this support and therefore may not learn to love themselves for exactly who they are when they are younger.
Comparisons do not reflect how valuable or worthy you are. Do not concern yourself with how others see you. The only opinion that matters is your own.
Get to know yourself better. What do you value? Where do you struggle? What hurts you? What brings you joy? The answers are not to be judged, just noted and then accepted.
Pay attention to your self-talk. What tone do you take? How do you criticize or uplift yourself? How often do you use “always”, “never”, and “should”? Challenge the inner critic.
Give yourself permission to experiences ALL feelings. Emotions are just tools that help you pay attention to what’s going on. They aren’t ‘good” or ‘bad’.
Recognize that spending time alone is healthy. It is not a reflection of how well-liked you are. Set boundaries and create opportunities to enjoy time by yourself.
Be grateful. When you can appreciate what you have in life, it helps you detach from comparisons with external factors or judgmental people.
The story you tell about yourself influences how you live and see the world. Do you find yourself stuck in past mistakes, difficulties or regrets? Is your identity tied to challenges in your life? Do you see yourself through the eyes of other people? Try rewriting the narrative of your personal story in a way that appreciates ALL of what your life is, and ALL of who you are.