Teen Dating Abuse Happens

TEEN DATING ABUSE HAPPENS

Abusive relationships are more common in teen dating than people may realize. 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse by someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults. And 2/3 never tell anyone. Dating abuse does not discriminate – it can happen to anyone, regardless of age, financial status, race, gender, sexual orientation, or background.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. A perfect reminder that we need to help raise awareness as well as reach out to the young people in our lives about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

 

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WARNING SIGNS

  • Checking your phone, email, or social media accounts without your permission

  • Putting you down or belittling you, especially in front of others

  • Isolating you from friends or family (wanting you all to themselves)

  • Extreme jealousy or acting out of their own insecurity

  • Volatile outbursts, quick to anger, or unpredictable mood swings

  • Intention to harm through physical, verbal, sexual, emotional or mental abuse

  • Being possessive or acting with controlling behaviors

  • Pressuring you or forcing you to engage sexually

  • Regularly feeling disrespected or unheard by your partner

 

Dating abuse is typically a pattern of coercive, intimidating, or manipulative behaviors used to wield power and control over a partner. The abusive behaviors often lead to the partner doubting their own self-worth, and as a result they become more dependent on the abuser for validation.

 

Being in a healthy relationship still has ups and downs – there will be disagreements and conflict. And it takes time and effort to sustain a healthy relationship. But the “work” is worth it!

 

KEYS TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

  • Respect – feeling you are important, appreciated & valued. Holding each other in high regard.

  • Equality – a balance of power. Making decisions together. Each person having a voice.

  • Honesty – your actions match your words. Acting with integrity. Being sincere with your reactions and feelings.

  • Safety – knowing your partner will not intentionally hurt you (physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc.). Looking out for your well-being, especially when you are vulnerable.

  • Trust – believing your partner. Relying on each other. Knowing you are not being manipulated, mislead or taken advantage of. Believing that your partner says what they mean.

 

Other important elements of a healthy relationship are: respectful communication, setting & adhering to boundaries, and each person being accountable for their own actions and words.

 

It is a myth that abuse in young relationships isn’t “real”. It absolutely is. And when ignored, it sends a message to both people that abuse is okay – creating a strong possibility that future relationships will also be abusive. Don’t be afraid of talking to the young people in your life about this!

ArticlesHeather Kassman