If You Could Turn Back Time
People long for stability and familiarity. Some people will choose a less favorable scenario over a new situation that is full of unknowns, like longing for a job they disliked, going back to an unhealthy relationship, calling up an ex-friend who hurt them, or making the same choice over and over even when the results are unfavorable. We rationalize, romanticize, and latch on to anything slightly positive from the past when the present is scary and uncertain.
There is a fine line between nostalgia and self-deception. I am seeing a lot of this right now, as most of us are faced with daily uncertainties and being asked to make decisions with no guarantees of the outcome. People are wishing things were as they used to be. “Why can’t we just go back to the way things were?”
It’s no surprise that change can feel like a threat to your well-being. And yet, if you minimize the emotional impact of negative events in your past, it’s easy to be seduced into something that is more idealized than true-to-life. Why is it so difficult to let go of the past, especially when it wasn’t as great as you are trying to persuade yourself it was?
CONSIDER FOR MINUTE…
What facts are you faced with right now?
What are you being asked to change and what will remain the same?
What emotions surface when thinking about the new changes?
What are you holding onto from the past? Break it down into facts and emotions.
What facts do you have that your fears are rational?
How would going back to the past benefit you? How might it keep you stuck?
There is a difference between thinking about the past and living in it. Sometimes you live in the past because it's familiar - you know how things go; there are no surprises. Even when bad things happen – you know how to navigate them and survive. Some people live in the past because they don't want to deal with the present, others live in the past for fear of what may come in the future.
Look at what you have in your life right now. What are you grateful for?
Name 2 things you could look forward to if you planned & worked toward them.
Acknowledge that there are some things in life that you just can't control. Let go of those.
Life is hard. When unexpected events swoop in and change many things all at once, it can be overwhelming. The good news is that you do have control over much of your life. Recognize where you have control, determine what chances you’re willing to take, and resolve to take steps that move you forward so that you don’t ache for a past that no longer serves you. Stop robbing yourself of the present.