There Is No Excuse For Abuse
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. More than 20,000 phone calls are placed daily to DV hotlines nationwide. Domestic violence (also called domestic abuse, relationship abuse or intimate partner violence) is used to maintain power and control over another person in an intimate relationship. It happens to people who are married, living together, dating and also includes former partners and parents of the same child.
Nearly 75% of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, gender, sexual orientation, religion, socioeconomic or educational background can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic abuse. A reported 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. The numbers are similar or higher for those who have experienced other forms of abuse such as physical, verbal, sexual, mental, emotional, property, coercion, financial, religious, stalking and digital abuse.
Many believe domestic violence doesn’t happen in their circles, but statistics tell us otherwise. People often believe that abuse won’t happen if there is love. Domestic violence has nothing to do with love or affection. It is about power and control.
Domestic Violence gets overlooked or unrecognized when it doesn’t involve death, severe injury or someone well known to the public. It can be ‘sophisticated’ - hurtful in ways that don’t leave a physical mark on the body, but inflicts internal damage and pain. It’s not just about hitting or black eyes - it’s yelling, humiliation, belittling, manipulation & coercion. It’s keeping tabs on someone, non-stop texting, constant use of the silent treatment, or name-calling so often they believe it.
MORE SIGNS of ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS
Regularly tells you that you can never do anything right
Extreme jealousy or being possessive of you
Insults or calls names
Dismisses your feelings or discounts your ideas/opinions
Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
Destroys your property or threatens to hurt your pets
Intimidates or frightens you
Controls your social media use or monitors you online
Uses scripture or religion to control, harass or ridicule you
Sends you demeaning, insulting messages
Looks through your phone, checks your photos, texts & calls
Controls your finances
Unwanted touching or sexual comments
Cheats on you and then blames you for their behavior
Attempts to control your appearance: what you wear, how you look
Tells you that you will never find anyone better
Isolates you from others
EVERY type of abuse is serious - no one deserves to experience abuse of any kind. If you are concerned about yourself or someone you know, do not hesitate to reach out for support.
Domestic violence was an epidemic before COVID-19. The health crisis has caused a spike in incidents of abuse. It remains a critical time for survivors. Greater awareness, education, and bystander intervention are desperately needed. Please share information that can help those who are experiencing violence/abuse.