Worried About Someone's Well-Being?

It’s one thing to be concerned about your own well-being; but when a friend, family member, classmate or coworker is struggling, it’s not always easy to know what to do. There’s a lot to consider. Signs that someone might be having a tough time:

• Increased mood swings, irritability, or being withdrawn

• Significant changes in eating, sleeping, work/study habits & social interactions

• Frequent signs of sadness, anxiety, fear, angry outbursts, hopelessness

• Trouble concentrating or remembering things

• Neglecting basic self-care, hygiene, etc.

• Reckless, impulsive behaviors

• Self-harm, thoughts of suicide or indicating “I don’t want to be here”

It is not your job to rescue or become their sole resource. This means not trying to diagnose, give treatment advice, solve their problems or tell them how they feel. Leave that to the professionals. Consider your motivations for wanting to help. Are you genuinely concerned about their well-being, or are you acting out of curiosity, wanting to rescue or to “be part of” something?

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

• Reflect on any changes you’ve noticed that are concerning (write them down if that helps)

• Consider what questions you have for them

• Choose an appropriate time to talk with them (ideally face-to-face). Minimize the distractions, interruptions, and pick a time & place that gives the most privacy

• Start by asking how they are doing

• Tell them what you’ve noticed and how you are worried about their well-being. Pay attention to being non-judgmental and show that you sincerely care about them

• Listen – without analyzing, judging, giving advice or minimizing what they share

• Ask open-ended questions for clarification or to find out what kind of support would be helpful

Not everyone will open up or want to talk with you. That’s okay. It’s most important that you let them know what you’ve noticed and that there is help and resources available when they’re ready. Reassure them that they are not alone and that you are willing to support them in the future.

Take care of yourself. Supporting someone else can affect your own well-being. Seek your own support when needed. Set boundaries. You can still be supportive while setting limits. Be clear about how you can/cannot help. This includes when and how the person contacts you. Suggest other avenues of support for when you are not available.

If you’re worried about someone’s immediate safety, call 911 or a crisis hotline. Hotlines are also helpful in finding resources. Additional sources of support might be: other friends/family, community resource centers, teachers, supervisors, coaches, church leaders, medical professionals, social workers and mental health therapists. Be patient and understanding. How you approach this could make a world of difference in someone’s life.